Q: Is it appropriate for my husband to meet privately with his ex wife, regardless of whether it is about the children or not? Should this bother me? What's good ex-etiquette?

A: Ah, quite a common question, but what jumps out at me is not the question, per say, but that you are unsure about how to feel. I am often asked, "Should I be upset?" "Am I over reacting?" "Should this bother me?" and I always find myself asking the computer out loud - "Why are you asking me?" It's not a matter of whether you should or shouldn't. It's a matter of "you do," so lets look at ways to get on the other side of it because you have married a man with children - and where there are children, there's usually an ex not far behind.

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